(Warning this is Fake News)
Anthony Bourdain to Challenge Trump for the Presidency in 2020
The omnipresent Bourdain issued a press release establishing an exploratory committee to seek the nations’ highest office.
There are many similarities between the two celebrities. Both have inflated egos. To quote Bourdain “my ego is flat out bigger than his and so are my hands”.
Both have hit TV shows that help carry their networks. Bourdain claims “My Parts Unknown has higher ratings than Celebrity Apprentice, especially in the 18-54 age group”.
Both are super rich. “I’m well on my way to my first billion” says Anthony.
Both have no experience in government and are considered outsiders.
On the negative side there are many similarities between the two as well. They are both quick to fire off their mouths. Trump famously tweets and Tony actually speaks –usually at paid events.
Both like Crispy Kreme
Both have been accused of harassment. Trump has been accused by a variety of women some of whom are getting jobs in his administration.
Bourdain has been accused of performing non-consensual gavage on selected waterfowl and possibly some women as well.
The 4000 Best Pizza’s in America 2016
As food-ranking listicles are taking over the Internet we thought it would be best to compile the ultimate listicle of Pizza rankings. Congrats to Mario Battali, Nancy Silverton and Joe Bastianich of Osteria Mozza for earning the #1 spot and getting the foodboomblogger and many other suckers to pay $250 for 2 pizzas, 2 salads, a mediocre bottle of wine and tip and tax.
Celebrity Chefs Jose Andres and Geoffrey Zakarian settle lawsuits with Trump for $25 million each.
Both Chefs’s backed out of deals to operate restaurants in Trump Hotels. Trump who “never settles lawsuits” is paying off both these chef’s on the same terms as the Trump University settlement so he doesn’t have to face litigation during his first term. Andres claims he will donate the proceeds to help Legal immigrants like himself.
Zakarian is closing his restaurants and is moving to Anguilla to open a high end Rum Shack.
As part of the settlement Zakarian has to give up his role as a judge on Food Network’s Chopped. No loss to anyone on this one.
Hillary Clinton and Huma Abedin to buy a Food Truck in Chappaqua N.Y.
Both Women are looking to shift gears and do something fun and completely different from their daily grinds of the last few decades. The Truck will be called H&H Weinerworld and will serve only two varieties of the ladies favorite wieners.
We hear plans are in the works for more trucks in NYC and DC.
Eric Ripert and Anthony Bourdain to buy Red Lobster chain from Golden Gate Capital for an undisclosed amount.
Bourdain will become the new spokesperson for the chain. Quote “I said they couldn’t give this to me but when they actually did, I changed my mind.”
Red Lobster will become the official sponsor of CNN’s Parts Unknown.
Ripert and Bourdain plan to offer a frequent dining program. Eat at Red Lobster 1000 times and you get a free dinner at Ripert’s Le Bernadin.
Frappucinos Da ! Starbucks Seeks Major Expansion in Russia
Exxon Mobil Chairman and incoming Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, who is known for his close relationship with Russia’s Vladimir Putin has vowed to promote American business interests.
Despite American economic sanctions against Russia, Tillerson will negotiate a deal for a major expansion of Starbucks. Russians have indeed been suffering through shortages of pumpkin spice Frappucinos. As for the cold and stale pastries,the Russians are quite accustomed to them and the stores always sell out.
It’s no coincidence that President Elect Trump announced plans to nominate Starbucks founder and CEO Howard Schultz as Ambassador to Russia.