Food Flash

EXCLUSIVE: MELANIA TRUMP YELPS PARIS

Hackers steal her Yelp account and find her innermost thoughts in her Yelp reviews.

 

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While its only been a few days since our amazing trip to Paris I am finally getting around to review our enchanting dinner at the restaurant Le Jules Verne Eiffel Tower.

We didn’t have any problems getting a table as our new French Bff’s Manny and Brigitte Macron arranged the dinner for us weeks in advance.

We went thru some heavy security to get to our table looking out over Paris from 400 feet. Fortunately Hubby and the rest of us had to put aside our iPhones. So grateful for this as there would be no tweeting on the fly during dinner. Wow what an amazing venue and it was the first time Hubby and I had ever been to the Eiffel Tower. It reminded us of the view from our Trump Tower in NY. I so miss it!

Of course being FLOTUS has its perks and we got the best table in the house and we were greeted by Chef Alain Ducasse who we never met. Hubby was really interested in seeing how this guy Ducasse measures up with what is left of some of our NYC chef friends.

We were seated right away in true French couple swapping style; me next to Manny and Hubby across the table next to Brigitte. Although Hubby and I have lots of experience in this fetish, before the dinner I made a pact with Hubby that hands would be on the table at all times and eyes would be only on me. Another groping incident, especially after his comments on Brigitte’s shape earlier in the day, would cause another international fiasco.

I almost choked on my crudités when Hubby mentioned to Manny Macron he would like to meet with Jules Verne the owner of the restaurant to see if he might consider opening a restaurant in one of our hotels. Even in Slovenia back in high school we read Jules Verne’s book  “Around the World in 80 Days”. Hubby says he only saw the movie. Later he told Macron he was only joking.

Manny and Brigitte were so generous in offering us the chef’s special 6 course tasting menu with wine pairings. Lucky for us as this would have set us back 950 euros but like income taxes and almost everything else we hardly ever pay.

As Hubby doesn’t drink the three of us kicked back a few champagne cocktails as the first course, a selection of Pate arrived. In true American style Hub’s washed his down with Coca Cola. I’ve been bugging him to switch to Diet Coke. Next were some lovely summer vegetables of tomato, zucchini, and eggplant. He really seemed to like them and I reminded him and the Macrons that we are still growing veggies like these in the White House garden started by my dear friend Michelle Obama. Hope this took some of the sting away from our backing Marine Le Pen.

Everyone at the table gobbled down the next course of Dover sole, spinach and sauce Hollandaise. The Macron’s were interested to learn of Hubby’s opinions on Brexit and U.S. trade re negotiations with the E.U. He advised that Dover sole will most likely be in short supply, so being men of action and foresight they each ordered another serving!

With great fanfare the waiters delivered the next course of filet of beef, brioche with foie, soufflé potato and truffle sauce. Fortunately we had the secret service agents standing by with squeeze bottles of Heinz ketchup ready to be shot on the meat if Hubby didn’t like the sauce. Amazingly Manny and Brigitte were thoughtful enough to have Chef Ducasse return to the table to ask POTUS “would you like some fries with that?” Such great hosts.

There were some nice wines; Riesling , Puligny Montrachet, and a 2012 Pauliac served with the mains. And by the time the deserts of warm strawberries and yogurt sauce and a chocolate souffle with chocolate ice cream were served we were pretty stuffed and literally floating over Paris. The strawberries were a bit of a miss but the souffle was perfectly inflated as are the egos of our husbands. I was nervous that I wouldn’t be able to fit in my Valentino dress for the Bastille day parade the next day. But the long Parisian night was still young and I knew Hubby and I would work off the dinner with or without the Macrons by our side. Anything to keep him from tweeting at 3 am.

With all the hot air generated from Hubby’s bloviating Manny almost convinced Hubby to come back into the Paris Climate accords.

So happy that Hubby didn’t ask Ivanka and Jared to come along because if the meal had to be kosher it surely wouldn’t have been half as good.

Not sure if we will ever be invited back so if you have the money or some Bff’s like the Macrons, this restaurant is not to be missed.

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